Kiss
Puke
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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