I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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