She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
