wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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