I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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