i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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