dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
