I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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