It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
