I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
