I cockslap morals
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
