The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
