i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
