Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
