that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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