the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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