I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
third nipple confirmed
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
