can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
