You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I accidentally had phone sex last night
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
