Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
