did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
