Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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