4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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