I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
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I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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