Don't make out with my wife yet
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
This is the high leading the old right now
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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