Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
