Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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