He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
