i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
