"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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