hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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