yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
