this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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