There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
