D3 body, D1 cock
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
