I just saw a hot homeless man
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
