Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
