Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
