Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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