i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
