where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
