Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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