he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
