I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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