there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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