Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
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Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
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It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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