new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
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