Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(562): View more from California

or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.

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(248): View more from Michigan

i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.

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(443): View more from Maryland

She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life

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(519): View more from Ontario

We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like

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(613): View more from Ontario

He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.

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