Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl

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(703): View more from Virginia

Grow some girl-balls and come out already

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(618): View more from Illinois

Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes

Fav 12 761 4174
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(646): View more from New York

The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.

Fav 18 5330 1022
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(713): View more from Texas

well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there

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(937): View more from Ohio

What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?

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(404): View more from Georgia

I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.

Fav 4 1425 1619
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(703): View more from Virginia

Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.

Fav 1 119 182
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