'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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