Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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