put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
