i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
