I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Who put my cat in the fridge?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
