Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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