Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
