So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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