What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
