hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
