she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Well I just put wine in my tea
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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