I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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