dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
