I'm really into asian looking animals
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
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