YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize