I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize