I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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