where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
