Dual....:-)
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
