Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
