He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
