Well apparently he's into motor boating.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
i think im in europe. pls send help
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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