i wish my penis had a tongue
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
